In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory on an unexpected public health threat. The report, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation,” drew associations between loneliness and “a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death,” with an impact on mortality “similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.” It outlined a national strategy aimed at fostering social connection: building more shared public spaces, for instance, and investing in local institutions that bring people together.
Publishers were already on the case, with a host of forthcoming books that reinforce the importance of friendship and community.
Closing the gap
Social health researcher Kasley Killam, author of The Art and Science of Connection (HarperOne, June), is among those who note that the link between social ties and well-being is not a new construct. “Our collective understanding of the health benefits of connection evolved slowly over decades with research and advocacy, before being accelerated by the pandemic,” she says.
In her book, Killam encourages readers to evaluate their satisfaction with each of their personal relationships and suggests strategies for determining the right amount of interaction for their personality type. She offers guidance on assessing the role each connection plays in their life, alongside tips on how to nurture different types of connections. Don’t be afraid to multitask, she advises: call a friend while folding the laundry or invite one along to run errands.
Social ties needn’t be strong to have an impact, and a lack of so-called weak ties, such as those between coworkers, are known to adversely affect health. “Even post-Covid, many people aren’t in the office like they used to be,” says Jessica Case, associate publisher at Pegasus Books. “There’s this lingering dearth of social interaction and it’s catching up with a lot of us.”
She acquired The Laws of Connection (June) by science writer and The Intelligence Trap author David Robson because of the book’s grounding in neuroscience and psychology as well as Robson’s holistic take on relationships. “This isn’t about networking or getting ahead,” Case says. “It’s a philosophical approach to the importance of seeking connection and community.” PW’s review called the book a “persuasive study,” noting the balance Robson strikes between explaining the science behind the benefit of social connections and offering “action points” that guide readers toward self-reflection.
Better medicine
Given increased acknowledgment of the ways in which social health affects physical and mental health, the rise of “social prescribing” makes sense. In The Connection Cure (Simon & Schuster, June), journalist Julia Hotz explains a social prescription as “a nonmedical resource or activity that aims to improve a person’s health and strengthen their community connections.” That could mean volunteer work, an art course or, as one geriatrician in Cleveland suggests to combat loneliness among his patients, activities including arboretum walks and ballroom dancing classes.
Hotz examines outcomes in countries that have turned social prescribing into policy, such as England and Japan, which in recent years each appointed government ministers to tackle the loneliness epidemic. The U.S. gained its first loneliness ambassador in November 2023, when New York Gov. Kathy Hochul appointed Ruth K. Westheimer, the 95-year-old sex therapist known professionally as Dr. Ruth, to the honorary position. In The Joy of Connections (Rodale, Oct.), Dr. Ruth, writing with journalist Allison Gilbert and longtime collaborator Pierre Lehu, offers 100 ways to combat feelings of isolation, including prioritizing social activities, making concrete plans instead of vague promises, and staying open to new experiences.
Confronting loneliness isn’t too different from the sex education work that made Dr. Ruth a household name in the 1980s, Gilbert says. “Taboo and shame are the same threads that are showing up in her conversations about loneliness. People are uncomfortable to admit they feel like they don’t have enough friends.”
Lean on me
While the market is saturated with books on nurturing romantic relationships and being a better parent, says Sounds True publisher Jaime Schwalb, being a better friend hasn’t received as much attention. That’s beginning to change, with recent titles including Marisa G. Franco’s Platonic (Putnam), “a smart and savvy guide on forging friendships,” per PW’s review; and Rhaina Cohen’s The Other Significant Others (St. Martin’s), an “illuminating debut,” PW’s review said, that “considers what a life that prioritizes ‘devoted’ friendships might look like.” Forthcoming books from Sounds True and others continue the conversation.
“We’re in this postpandemic, technology-forward setting and can no longer assume that friendships will be naturally created,” Schwalb says. Journalist Anna Goldfarb, in the Sounds True release Modern Friendship (June), notes the paradox of modern-day relationships:
smartphones and social media apps mean adults can reach out to more people than ever before, yet many still feel they lack close friends. Her book identifies several challenges to adult friendships: people are more mobile than ever, Americans are working longer hours, and parents spend twice the amount of time with their children than previous generations did.
It’s critical, Goldfarb writes, that people offer one another what the web can’t—what she calls “human stuff, like sympathy, empathy and compassion.” When a friend makes a major lifestyle change, like going vegan, plan meetups at places where she’ll feel welcome; if a friend has lost a job, grab a slice of pizza together instead of going for a more expensive option.
A September release from the Experiment, Friendship First by Gyan Yankovich, centers platonic relationships. According to Batya Rosenblum, executive editor at the Experiment, the premise is straightforward: “Why do we say ‘just’ friends when our friendships are often the most important and meaningful relationships in our lives?” Yankovich, lifestyle editor at the Sydney Morning Herald, prompts readers to “reconsider the value of friendships,” Rosenblum says.
With research showing that quality friendships can lengthen lives, people’s actions toward such relationships should reflect their vital importance, Yankovich writes. She focuses on enriching existing relationships—sending care packages, scheduling check-ins—rather than forming new ones, and gives tips on how to integrate friends into family and romantic circles.
The power of mutual support and community is at the heart of You Don’t Have to Do It Alone by Mark Nepo, due out from St. Martin’s Essentials in July. Nepo, who’s written more than a dozen self-help and inspirational books, ruminates on the importance of close friendships in a person’s quest for meaning and authenticity. “Despite having more ways than ever to be connected, more people report feeling isolated and without meaningful relationships in their lives,” says Joel Fotinos, v-p and editorial director at St. Martin’s Essentials. Drawing from accounts of friendship in mythology, ancient history, and his own life, Nepo affirms the long-standing importance of platonic friendships and arranges journal prompts around poetry fragments and notable quotes.
Danielle Bayard Jackson, a friendship coach who advises dating platform Bumble on its Bumble for Friends app, focuses on female relationships in the Hachette Go release Fighting for Our Friendships (May). She identifies different friend archetypes—the “gossip,” the “love-obsessed,” the “clingy”—and offers scripts for navigating conflict with each type, including how to gracefully exit a friendship that has run its course.
“If you look online for friendship books, you’re going to find a lot of gratitude journals and gift books,” says Hachette Go editorial director Renée Sedliar. Jackson and other authors are supporting a new narrative, she says. “There’s been this sense that these are soft relationships. Post-Covid, we know these relationships are essential.”
Jasmina Kelemen is a freelance writer in Houston.
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