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BookBeat: Son of Admitted SOB Tells His Side
Joan Iaconetti -- 8/3/98
It could almost be the premise of a fall sitcom: psychotherapist son, whose father titled his memoirs Confessions of an SOB, writes a book about difficult parents. Dad is a media mogul; son was a radio psychologist, now in private practice. In the first episode, publicity for the book has the two meet on live TV for an interview.
The sitcom is fictional, but the characters aren't: you can catch the real interview on Good Morning America on September 16. Dr. Dan Neuharth's first book, If You Had Controlling Parents, appears in bookstores September 10; his dad is self-proclaimed SOB Al Neuharth, founder of USA Today (and current columnist therein); Dan contributed one chapter to dad's 1989 memoir.
"When Dan told me he was writing the book, I suggested the title Confessions of a Son of an SOB," joked Al in a telephone interview. "I told him he could use it royalty-free." Dan, in turn, suggested re-packaging their books together, "as a boxed gift set."
Behind the funny backstory is a book full of down-to-earth advice and support for people whose parents might not have been physically or sexually abusive, but nonetheless limited their children's lives with persistent, unhealthy control. Psychologist Alice Miller's classic books (Drama of the Gifted Child, Thou Shalt Not Be Aware) greatly influenced Dan, who "takes her ideas further -- I wanted to make them accessible to a wider audience."
"So many people in my practice have this problem -- and so do I -- that I felt there was a real need for the book," said Dan. It's more difficult to write when the subject hits so close to home, he added. "I was dealing with breaking the loyalties I still felt toward a controlling parent."
He recalled visiting his father in the middle of working on the book. "I hadn't seen him for about a year, and was very curious, and a bit nervous, to look at his behavior from a more objective viewpoint. So I decided to mentally note his controlling behaviors at this family gathering, and I literally couldn't keep track -- he controlled when we ate, what we ate, what we could touch, even telling us not to use the bathroom because we'd disrupt the discussion going on. I remember just shaking my head; if I felt this frustrated as a 40-year-old man, imagine what it's like for a kid!"
The potential publicity of the situation was not lost on acquiring editor Diane Reverand, publisher of HarperCollins imprint Cliff Street Books, who counts Miller's books among her favorites. She was "fascinated by Dan's approach" to the material, and Al (who laughed that he'd been called "a lot worse than 'controlling' ") readily agreed to help Dan publicize the book. Al has nothing to do with USA Today's plans for publicity, however -- "I just write a column for them."
But Reverand's enthusiasm translates into a publicity-driven campaign that includes N.Y. and L.A. national media; print and radio satellites; and professional and academic journals and conferences. "September seems a good time to launch serious nonfiction," she said. "People are in a back-to-school frame of mind, and the talk shows are looking for new guests." No talk of a sitcom yet, but Dan himself will narrate the HarperAudio.
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