Chandresh Bhardwaj, a seventh-generation Indian spiritual guru who founded the Break the Norms movement in 2010, is furthering the initiative to break taboos in spirituality and help people realize their potential with his book, Break the Norms: Questioning Everything You Think You Know About God and Truth, Life and Death, Love and Sex (Sounds True, Jan.). he book draws on traditional Hindu wisdom as well as other religious worldviews (the Dalai Lama provides a foreword) to guide readers toward rethinking life’s questions via self-inquiry practices.
In Break the Norms, you debunk spiritual myths, including obligations to forgo pleasure and ambition, urging readers to have the courage to find their own answers instead. How did you find that courage?
Growing up among spiritual teachers, I was always surrounded by many, many answers. When I found myself tangled in this web of questions and answers, I reached out to my father—my Guru, His Holiness Shree Chamunda Swami. He calmly responded, “Don’t accept just any answer. Meditation and prayer have their own time and space. You must question the answers coming your way!”
It took me several deeper moments of meditation to realize that courage isn’t the absence of fear. Courage is the presence of fear, doubts, and all related emotions... and it is also the strength to face our demons.
We are taught that having an ego is a bad thing; what is your advice for “managing” the ego?
We cannot abandon our egos; they are very much a part of us. What we can do, though, is build a deeper understanding of our egos. Rather than letting your ego dominate you, master the art of managing it. A conscious relationship with your ego will help you improve your relationships with others. The easiest way to have this type of relationship is to acknowledge that you have an ego, and pay close attention to all of the moments when it tries to overpower you.
Secondly, include meditation as a part of your lifestyle. Meditation can help you understand the ego’s darkness and ultimately tame it for the betterment of your life. I define ego as “eliminating the Guru out.” When you ignore your Guru’s guidance, the ego will always wreak its havoc on you. Hence, it’s very important to simply listen and surrender. Knowing that you don’t know it all is the first step to managing your ego.
Why is meditation so important?
As we sail through life, we become conditioned with fear and insecurity, and we end up becoming a robot of society. Layers of our suppressed emotions continue to build up on a daily basis. We are not allowed to cry, laugh, or express our deepest selves in the world. All of these experiences block the flow of energy within. Meditation frees this blocked flow of energy.
You write that when people accept that they are loved, their "life transforms." How can someone use love to improve areas of their lives, such as their own self-perception?
The easiest way to boost our self-esteem is by seeing ourselves through the heart of someone who loves us. Love is a forgotten shrine. In today’s Snapchat and Twitter world, love has lost a bit of its depth. There are very few people ready to give or receive unconditional love. Love gives you the energy to soar even when you are doubtful of the entire journey.
